Today I watched a commercial for some car where at the end they tried to show how happy you will be by purchasing said car through actors catching fireflies. This marketing scheme did not work on me. In fact I was more than just a little disgusted. Call me crazy, but I think catching fireflies is a gross and perverted activity. For those of you who might not know, fireflies glow because they are trying to attract a mate. So the act of catching glowing fireflies is just cockblocking horny little bugs and holding them in the palm of your hand with a big old goofy grin on your face. You sick bastard.
What makes this activity even more troublesome for me is that parents encourage their children to do this as well. The little dumb progenies running around some spring field at night chasing after undersexed insects all in the hopes to giggle at a captured firefly that is all ready to get busy. The parents stand shoulder to shoulder off on some porch sipping their milk coffee and smiling at the innocence of their child. An innocence that would be rudely shattered if they knew the attempted bug porn that they are inhibiting. These sick parents watch as their little youngling cradles the sexually charged desirous vermin writhing in their palms. This is awful parenting and they deserve to have child protective services check their homes for molestation chambers.
Not that they would have any, of course, as most of the parents who encourage the act of catching fireflies are usually too slow to fully grasp the situation they are viewing themselves. I just think it would be funny if that were the repercussion of ignorance.